mindful monday : thanks for coming out.

Kim Joris WIWFY [art by Kim Joris]

On this National Coming Out Day…

I want to tell my many LGBTQI friends that I love them.

I want us all to recognize that LGBTQI people have to come out every single day of their lives … and that we should work toward a world in which that isn't true.

I want to ask people who would hurt and kill people because of their sexual orientation (or for any reason at all) to recognize their shared humanity, to seek the source of their anger, to heal.

I want my LGBTQI friends to be able to marry the person they love.

I want young LGBTQI people to know that there are safe places for them in this world, and that it does get better.

I want people who say that God hates fags to find peace in their hearts and a way to have religion be loving and inclusive, not hateful and divisive.

I want people who disagree with me to start their own blog and write their own beliefs on it rather than sending me hate mail about what I'm posting here. I'm happy to receive letters disputing what I say–this should be a dialogue and your beliefs are your beliefs and I appreciate that–but I will no longer read or respond to hateful, threatening, despicable ones.

I want Fred Phelps to be saved from his consuming hate and fear and ignorance but that's about all the attention I can muster for Mr Phelps.

I want people who use the Bible to strip LGBTQI people of their humanity to stop confusing the Bible with their interpretation of it.

I want homophobic people to spend a year getting to know someone who is gay before denouncing them.

I want homophobic people to spend a year examining the source of their fear and anger.

I want LGBTQI people not to fall prey to stereotyping straight people either.

I want straight people to learn how to be better allies for gay people.

I want straight people to speak up for LGBTQI people.

I want every single one of us to speak up when we hear a gay joke or "that's so gay." Every single one of us. Every single time.

I want us to spend less time fighting against anti-gay factions and more time moving toward creating the kind of inclusive society we desire.

I want my daughters to grow up knowing that love is love, that straight love and gay love and everything in between is beautiful and right and complex and sometimes painful and life-affirming and the only thing there is. At the end of it, love is what's left.


  1. I want those things, too.

  2. If only we could do away with labels and accept each other for who we are, there would be more love and peace. We would be people who love people. Imagine such a world.

  3. Thank you for saying this so eloquently. I want all these things too.

  4. If we all could spend some time in another person’s shoes, the world would be different!!! Just maybe compassion would prevail.

  5. Okay, Ms. Digh, you made me cry again. Indeed, at the end, and every day on the way to the end, it’s love.

  6. Yes.
    I want anyone who would denounce the military service of a LBG to come to understand the honor and sacrifice of those who have volunteered to defend their right to hate.
    I want parents to begin a dialogue of empathy and compassion with today’s youth, and to trust educators who try teach it when parents have failed.
    I want to be me.

  7. thank you for saying what I live so well.

  8. beautiful and thank you. may we all come out as ourselves each day. and in the coming out give others permission to do the same. love.

  9. Very powerful message… Thank You, Patti

  10. I want those things, too. Thank you for posting this, and for pointing out National Coming Out Day. Now I’ve blogged about it too.

  11. Thanks, my friend. All we need is love, indeed. You speak your truth so clearly, and for that — and for you — I am so grateful.

  12. one of the things i love about your writing is that you so eloquently speak for those of us who don’t have your talent. you say the things i think and feel so much better that i ever could. and it’s so comforting to know that there is a community of people out there that i fit in with.

    it just blows my mind that you receive hate mail here, when all they have to do is stop reading your writing if they find it offensive to their beliefs. how is it anyone’s place to tell you what you should be writing about on your own website?

    ?”Of all the illusions that beset mankind none is quite so curious as that tendency to suppose that we are mentally and morally superior to those who differ from us in opinion.” — Elbert Hubbard

    i read that just this morning on facebook and it seemed to fit so well with your post! please keep doing what you do!!!

  13. Thank you. I needed voices like yours when I came out many, many years ago. I’m glad your words are going out for young LGBTQ people to hear now.


  1. Spirit In Gear - Shout Out Against Gay Bashing Kudos to Patti Digh for taking on ignorance and hate in Mindful Monday: Thanks for …