my purpose will be there tomorrow

the emails and the pundits and spotify and
pinterest are so loud…i love them and they hurt my ears.
the phone and the dishes and the anxiety ring and my co-worker
who is in jamaica wants to know if i can just do this list
of fifteen things for her while she’s on vacation and
my hair needs to be dried and actually i don’t even want to eat now.

i open the car door and say no to the radio.
i turn off the computer and cnn, and i say, not tonight
anderson, my darling.
i open the refrigerator door and say no to that eggplant that i
planned to use for involtini tonight.  i tell that eggplant that it can wait
until tomorrow, and so can my boss, and so can this email from
the co-worker in jamaica, and so can my hair and so can these decisions about
whether i’m fulfilling my purpose in this life or just chewing gum.

and the radio and eggplant stare back at me, and the
boss wants an explanation and that co-worker in jamaica nearly
drops her pina colada because yes always jumps out of my
mouth before my lips can even start to part and this
shit won’t pin itself, so what are they all to do in the wake of
my no no nos?

but my hair dried on its own, and my purpose will be there tomorrow
and in the dark of this room it is finally quiet and my
ears don’t hurt anymore.

-beth

(photo by beth)